


The End is a Chance to Start Fresh

by caitirin



Series: The Tale of Lyra Lavellan:  Tornado of Stabby Death and Rift Closer Extraordinaire [2]
Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Cullen is adorable, F/M, Iron Bull friendship, Iron Bull notices things, Loss of Limbs, Morning Sickness, Post-Trespasser Spoilers, Pregnancy, leaping into danger
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-17
Updated: 2018-10-17
Packaged: 2019-08-03 17:46:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16330709
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/caitirin/pseuds/caitirin
Summary: Lyra Lavellan is trying to keep everything from literally exploding during the Exalted Council and the Qunari Invasion.  As if that weren't enough she's trying to keep a big secret from everyone until the dust settles.  Good thing Bull's got his eye on her and he doesn't miss anything.Ben Hassrath, remember?---“Are you spying on me, Bull?”  Lyra asked as she mirrored his pose, folding her arms casually.“Ben Hassrath, remember?”  Bull winked at her, which was patently ridiculous given the fact that he only had the one eye.  “And of course I have.  Promised Cullen I'd keep an even closer watch on you since you started kissing him.”





	The End is a Chance to Start Fresh

**Author's Note:**

> Saoirse Lavellan is Lyra's sister and Tei is their cousin, the First of Clan Lavellan. In Lyra's Inquisitor timeline Tei is (obviously) not the Inquisitor but other than that, he's pretty much the same as in his series ;)
> 
> Spoilers for some Trespasser stuff!

If there was an upside to being awakened at four a.m. every single morning, sick to your stomach, for two weeks in a row, it was that at least out here in the bizarre landscape of the crossroads there wasn’t a mob of people around.  Lyra Lavellan could get up, duck through the closest eluvian and throw up, in relative peace and quiet without the entirety of Thedas knowing her business. She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand as she breathed out slowly, steadying herself into a more stable posture as she sat back on her heels beside the stream.  She dipped a tin cup into the briskly flowing water and rinsed out her mouth, trying to forget the-all-too-familiar sour taste. The sound of footsteps, designed to be heard so as not to startle her, alerted her to the presence of someone else behind her. She didn’t have to look back over her shoulder to know that it was the Iron Bull stepping out of the eluvian she’d slipped through as she’d left the rest of the party.  

“Still feeling under the weather, Boss?”  Bull passed her a towel when he reached the water’s edge.

“You might have been right about those berries.  Something I ate still isn’t agreeing with me,” she said casually as she dried her face and hands.  

“Yeah,”  Bull said skeptically.  “I’m sure it was the berries.  And not, say, the fact that you’re knocked up.”

Lyra laughed, maybe a little too quickly.  “What? I’m not.”

“Sure, and you've just been coincidentally sick every morning for the last twelve days in a row, and chewing ember root because you like the spicy earthy taste, and resting your hand over your stomach when you’re sure no one’s looking because, I don't know, you think it looks intimidating.”  Bull folded his arms over his broad chest and regarded her with an amused smile.

“Are you spying on me, Bull?”  Lyra asked as she mirrored his pose, folding her arms casually.

“Ben Hassrath, remember?”  Bull winked at her, which was patently ridiculous given the fact that he only had the one eye.  “And of course I have. Promised Cullen I'd keep an even closer watch on you since you started kissing him.”  Bull’s eyes dropped to Lyra’s faintly rounded stomach. “And more than kissing him.” 

“Fuck.  Should have known I’d never slip it past you.”  She looked back at the eluvian as though she expected the rest of the group to be following him through.  “Does everyone else know?”

Bull shook his head.  “Nope. Because I'm good at my job.  I figured if you were keeping it a secret you had a reason.  So who else did you tell?”

“No one,”  Lyra said automatically.  Then she shook her head. “Okay, so my sister knows, and so does Tei.  Because I needed the ember root, and I couldn't really keep it from  _ him _ .  His Lavellan sense would have been going off if I tried.”

Bull took her cup from her and refilled it with more fresh water.  “And Cullen? When are you going to tell him?”

Lyra’s face twisted into a grimace.  “Not yet. I'm not ready for him to know.”

Bull looked sideways at Lyra.  “You married the guy, how much more ready are you gonna wanna be?  He's gonna be hurt if he finds out some other way.”

“I know.”  She took the water from Bull.  “But, it nearly destroyed him to let me fight Corypheus and I wasn't even pregnant then.”  She drank the water. “We'll deal with this invasion and the stupid Exalted Council and  _ then  _ I'll tell him.  He's already beside himself about the invasion; knowing this would wreck him.  And we need him... the Inquisition needs him... hell,  _ I _ need him at his best.  He can’t do what he needs to do if I knock him off his feet with something like this.”  She hunched her shoulders. It felt wrong to keep the information from Cullen. She looked up at Bull.  “You're not going to tell him, are you?”

Bull put his hands up.  “Hey, I work for you, boss.  You tell me what you want and I make it happen.  I've got your back. That’s your bodyguard talking.”  Bull put a hand on her shoulder. “But as your friend talking, just don't wait too long to tell him.  Guy like Cullen would want to know something like that.” 

Lyra smiled with relief.  She leaned against him. “Thanks, Bull.  Well, I guess you better keep me alive long enough so I can tell him.”

“You got it, boss.  And, hey, congratulations, mom.”

Lyra pressed a hand to her chest with sudden shock.  “Creators, that's the first time someone's called me that.”  She felt a cool rushing sensation as a shiver shot through her limbs.

Bull smiled widely.  “Pretty cool feeling, I'm guessing?”

She nodded a little unsteadily.  Her voice came out softer than she’d been expecting.  “Yeah.”

“And kinda freaking you out too.  Just a little.” Bull lifted his hand making a gesture to indicate smallness with his index finger and thumb.

Lyra brushed a surprised tear from the corner of her eye.  “Shit, yeah, just a little.”

Bull slipped his arm around her shoulders.  “Don’t sweat it. You're gonna be a kickass mom.”

 

The meeting with the Dread Wolf really hadn’t gone how Lyra had hoped.  She hadn’t even gotten to punch Solas in his smug lying face and that really pissed her off.  And now her arm was melting off and she was having trouble seeing through the rage and pain. She staggered towards the eluvian where she hoped her friends were still waiting.  

Iron Bull lunged forward when the last eluvian started rippling again.  After Lyra had leapt through, it had gone still and it had taken everything he had not to smash the delicate mirror to pieces trying to get through it to her.  When she fell back out of it he was right there to catch her. Her face was contorted and she was clenching her jaw so tightly together he could hear her teeth grinding.  

She roared in pain as the mark flared in her palm again.  It had been getting rapidly worse over the last several days and markedly so over these last few hours.  She stumbled and dropped to her knees, only Bull’s steadying grasp keeping her upright at all. Her entire body shook as involuntary shudders ripped through her.  She snatched one of her daggers from its sheath and held it shakily.

“What do you need, Boss?”  Bull steadied her.

Her eyes were wild as she stared down at the mark in her hand, now sparking as the skin of her arm started to steam.  She gritted her teeth. “I need this fucking thing to  _ STOP _ .”  She lifted the dagger and slashed harshly across her own forearm.  The blade went deep and the sound of her own screaming briefly blocked out all other sounds.  

Bull saw the white of the bones in her arm before she started shaking too hard to hold her knife.  It dropped clumsily from her twitching fingers. Bull was dimly aware of Dorian swearing and yanking off one of his many leather straps.  He darted forward and tied the belt tight around her bicep to staunch the jets of blood that were pulsing from the deep cut.

Lyra screamed and twisted away from him, but the belt stayed in place.  She jerked her ruined arm loose. “Cut it off. Now!” She made eye contact with Bull.  “Please.” 

He didn’t hesitate.  “Hold still.” He lifted his great axe over his head and brought it crashing down.  There was a cracking sound as her bones split and then a heavy thud.

Lyra’s gaze didn’t falter for a second until the axe had fallen.  She shuddered, looked down at the remains of her arm laying on the ground with the mark still sending up sparks, and her eyes rolled back in her head and she fell back against Dorian.  She felt like she heard wind rushing in her ears; it muted everything else, and the voices of her friends seemed somehow farther away. She felt Bull lifting her up and her head fell back against his bicep.  She heard Dorian saying something about a tourniquet and felt someone touching her face. 

“Hang in there, Boss.  Stay with us, we’re heading home.”

“Where did the light go?”  She tried to sit up but her limbs felt heavy.  Why was it getting so dark?

 

And then it was soft.  Lyra hurt just about everywhere, but she was lying in something soft.  Something soft and familiar. She caught the scent of cedar and woodsmoke.  Cullen. She reached for something and a sharp pain in her left arm jolted through her.  She opened her eyes and looked up at an unfamiliar ceiling.

The overwrought paintings of cherubs started to come into focus.  “Ugh, Winter Palace.” Her voice sounded hoarse and rough.

“Lyra?”  Cullen’s worried and exhausted face swam into focus above her.  He had dark circles under his eyes and he looked like he needed a shave.  He was trying to smile. “You’re awake. Thank the Maker.”

She felt the bed dip as he sat down beside her.  “Cullen. Mmmm, you’re here.” She smiled up at him.

He touched her face so carefully, caressing her cheek with rough but familiar fingertips.  “How are you feeling?”

She reached up and covered his hand with her own, pressing his hand into her cheek.  “I ache in places I didn’t even know I had. How long was I out?”

“Six days.  You were in and out for some of it, but the healers said your body would need some time to heal.”  He looked down at his hand in hers. 

Lyra struggled to sit up.

“Wait, you should rest!”  Cullen tried to convince her to lie back down again.

“I’ve been resting for six days.”  She winced as she tried to adjust her pillows with an arm she didn’t have most of.  She tensed when she the bandaged stump against the bedding; it sent an almost electric jolt of pain through her arm and shoulder.  She blew out a breath and tried to ignore it. “Help me sit up.”

Cullen moved the pillows behind her to help her sit up.  His hands shook.

“Cullen.  What’s wrong?”

He stopped fussing with her pillows and looked up at her.  There was so much raw pain in his expression that she couldn’t breathe for a moment.

“I’m okay,”  she said. “I’m right here.  I’m not going anywhere.” She reached out for him, beckoning him to sit with her on the bed.  “Are you all right, vhenan?”

“I... I was so afraid that you’d never come out of it.  When Bull brought you in, I thought-” He closed his eyes.  “I thought you were already gone.” His voice shook. “I thought that I’d lost you.”

Lyra pulled him into her arms and wrapped her good arm around him.  “There’s no force in Thedas that could keep me from you. I’ll always come back.”  Her own voice betrayed her by shaking. She felt tears pricking at the backs of her eyes.

“Ugh, here I am meant to be comforting you.”  Cullen said with subtle frustration. “I’m so sorry.”

Lyra rested her forehead against his and closed her eyes.  “You’re always a comfort to me, Cullen. It doesn’t matter what you say or do, you’ll always be what I need.”

He wrapped his arms around her and buried his face in her hair.  “I’m just so grateful that you’re still here.” 

She leaned against him and smiled.  “Hey, I just married you. You’re not going to get rid of me that easily.”  She leaned back so she could kiss him. She could feel some of the tension bleeding out of him as he returned the kiss.  “Because, Commander, I plan to be around for a whole lot more of  _ this _ kind of thing.  It’s possibly one of the few things to come out of this whole Inquisition mess that I actually enjoy.”

He laughed gently.  “I confess that it’s my favorite part of it as well.”

“Oh good, I was starting to worry that it was your new mabari instead.”

He looked back at her with shock.  “Of course no-” He paused. “Wait, you’re teasing me again, aren’t you?”

She snorted and winced as it twinged something.  “Cullen, I wouldn’t have married you if I thought you loved the dog more than me.  I think it’s cute. In a huge, slobbering, hairy kind of way.”

“If you’d prefer, we don’t have to keep him,”  Cullen said soberly.

“And miss seeing you so happy?  We’re keeping the dog. Besides, I’ve never had a decorative animal before.”  Lyra started trying to slide her legs off the bed.

“Decorative animal?  Oh, not a working one.”  Cullen automatically moved to assist Lyra.  “Are you sure you should be getting out of bed?  Please, let me summon a healer first.”

Lyra shook her head.  “I feel... battered, but alive.  And I have an Inquisition to disband.  I don’t want to keep my wretched, ungrateful public waiting any longer.”  She let Cullen slip his arms around her waist and steady her on her feet.

He nodded, knowing better than to try to argue with her.  “So you’ve decided to disband then?” 

Lyra slid her arm around his shoulders, ignoring the aching in the stump of her left arm.  “Yes. It’s time. Also, I’m going to be pretty busy in about seven months, so I need to not be the Inquisitor.”

Cullen stroked the small of her back with his fingertips.  He shook his head gently with confusion. “What happens in seven months?”

Lyra looked him in the eyes.  “I’m about two months along now.”  She paused, searching his face for a reaction.  

His brows drew together for a moment as he did some mental math.  “Nine months... wait... does that mean...?”

“I’m pregnant, Cullen.  You’re going to be a father.”  She felt Cullen’s hand start to shake where he had frozen in place with it against her back.  She took an unsteady breath as she waited for him to say something.

“Maker preserve us, really?”  His voice came out unsteady.

Lyra swallowed nervously.  “Surprise?” She smiled anxiously.

Cullen’s gaze dropped to her stomach and he reached out so carefully to touch her.  His touch was so gentle and so reverent Lyra almost couldn’t feel it. He looked back up at Lyra and there were tears in his eyes again.  “I never thought I’d even get the chance to-” He slid a hand behind her head and pulled her into a kiss. 

She smiled against his lips and then laughed.  “I’m sorry I waited to tell you. I didn’t want you to worry.”  She threw her arm around him. “Are you happy?”

He shook his head.  “I’ve never been more so.”  He suddenly picked her up and carried her back to the bed.  “And you’re not going  _ anywhere _ until you’ve been seen by a healer.  I’m going to put my foot down.” He shook his head.  “I cannot believe what you’ve been doing! Maker’s breath, all that you’ve been through with this Council and the invasion.”  He pressed a hand to his forehead. “I still can’t quite believe you made it through all that without...”

“I’m not some shrinking violet.  Hey, at least it didn’t cost me an arm  _ and _ a leg, right?”  She grinned and Cullen paled a little.  “Which reminds me. I want Dagna working on some kind of magical arm.  I’m going to be a mom, I need at  _ least _ two hands!”

Cullen couldn’t quite keep the smile from his face.  “I don’t know that I want one of Dagna’s insane inventions strapped to your body.  It was worrying enough when I was just concerned about her blowing up Skyhold.”

A knock at the door made them both look up.  Iron Bull pushed open the door, covering his eyes.  “You decent, boss?”

“Not since I was a teenager, Bull,”  Lyra said.

He removed his hand from his eyes with a crooked smile.  “Good, decency is for losers. Just wanted to see how you were recovering.  Word spread quick that you’d woken up.” He patted Cullen on the back. “High time you stopped making the Commander worry himself grey.  It’d be a shame if he lost that luscious lion’s mane.” Bull looked over at Lyra with the question in his eyes.

Lyra nodded.  “He knows. No more secret.”

Iron Bull smiled broadly and turned to Cullen.  “Congratulations, Papa. Drinks are on me tonight!”

“You knew!”  Cullen started with outrage.  “You let her go out into all of that and you knew?”

Bull nodded.  “It’s my job to notice things.  And right up ‘til that last damn eluvian, I never once let her out of my sight, Cullen.  I promised you I’d never let anything hurt her. Just wish I could’ve done something better to fix that damn anchor.”

Cullen shook his head with weary resignation.  “I’m just grateful you brought her home.” He nodded at Iron Bull.  “Thank you.”

He shook Cullen’s outstretched hand.  “You can thank me by naming one of them after me.”  He winked. Still such a ridiculous gesture with only one eye.

Cullen laughed.  “We’ll take that under consideration- wait...  _ one _ of them?”  He looked back at Lyra.

She smiled widely.  “Surprise number two?  Tei’s pretty sure there are two of them in there.”  She smiled and rested her hand over her stomach. 

Cullen had to laugh.  “Maker’s breath, what am I in for?”

“Well, I know Varric is the story teller around here, but for what it’s worth, my money’s on ‘Happily Ever After.’” Iron Bull said.


End file.
